Life in the Aftermath of Betrayal
by Lauren Stein, Elder
John 18: 21-30 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.” Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.”
Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor. As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.
Betrayal is a breach of trust that places us in the tension of doubting the other person and ourselves. In its aftermath, we are barraged with questions. We wonder how we could have missed it. We assume that we could have stopped it. We question our ability to discern who is trustworthy. The pain of betrayal shakes us to our core and its shockwaves leave us wavering and unsteady. I do not have a 3-point plan on how to deal with betrayal, but when life throws us into a season of living in tension, Scripture grounds and guides us in the truth.
First, as humans, we can only know what the other person makes known to us. After three years together, the disciples thought that they knew Judas. In reality, they were completely unaware of what was going on in Judas’ heart and mind. So often, we blame ourselves for trusting someone who was untrustworthy and for missing the signs. But Jesus’ disciples did life with Judas for years and they still had no idea. According to 1 Timothy 5:24, some sins will be well known, and others will be made known in time. When living in that tension, we can grieve the hurt, but we cannot accept the blame.
Secondly, Jesus fully understands the deep pain and heartache of betrayal. For three years, Jesus invested in Judas, teaching him to live a life of love and grace. In return, Judas took His trust and handed Him over to be killed. In our pain, we may find ourselves in the tension between wondering why God didn’t protect us from the hurt and the truth that Jesus fully knows our pain.
Lastly, despite our distrust, we are called to welcome others into discipleship under Jesus. Jesus wasn’t surprised by Judas’ betrayal. I imagine that even as he called Judas to follow Him, He knew that this was the man who would eventually betray Him. Despite His knowledge of this, He didn’t cease investing in nor did he live only expecting the worst of Judas. In the same way, Jesus isn’t surprised by our failures and shortcomings. Just as Jesus called Judas, he has also called us into discipleship, and so we must do the same.
The story of Jesus’ betrayal challenges us to live in the tension between grief and hope. This betrayal was the impetus for a sorrowful weekend that would ultimately bring deep joy to the rest of the world for generations to come. While we know the glorious victory of the cross and tomb, in the days of Holy Week, it is also important to wrestle with the sorrow that led up to it. If you find yourself living life in the tension of two contrasting seasons, be still and know that our God is with you. He is trustworthy above all things.
Heavenly Father, thank You for being with us in the midst of life’s pain. As we prepare for Easter Sunday, we are especially thankful for the gift of Jesus’ death on the cross. May we love each other, trusting in Your faithfulness. Make us aware of how You are at work in the world and how we can join You in it. Amen.
